Losing the Benefits They Paid For

If you think cutting off Social Security and Medicare is not a problem, think some more. If you're under 65, do you want your elderly parents or grandparents to move in with you? It might not be as much fun as you think.

Look up the retail prices of the medications they take. Ask the doctor's office how much an uninsured patient pays for a visit.

Do your parents want to move in with you, or would they rather stay independent as long as possible? Do you have a spare room, or will someone have to sleep on the couch? How will the folks feel about giving up their furniture and accumulated possessions? Do you have closet space for them? How many bathrooms do you have? How much money can they contribute toward groceries, utilities and other household expenses? Are you all able to make major financial and lifestyle decisions together? Do they approve of the way you clean house, or the way you cook? Do they approve of the way you are raising your children? Do you enjoy their helpful suggestions and comments?

How much help with housework will your aging parents be able to provide? Do they have problems like incontinence, short-term memory loss, hearing impairment, failing eyesight, difficulty walking? Will you be able to leave them alone when you go on vacation? Or will you take them with you, and will they (or you) enjoy it? If the day comes when they need full-time care, will you or your spouse be able to provide it? Or can you afford health care workers (strangers in your home all day)?

If your parents are no longer living, will these issues apply to aunts and uncles, aging cousins, or even your older siblings? If you still have teenagers or 20-somethings living with you, can you afford to keep them plus the older relative who needs expensive pills?

 

Remember Me

Toward the end of her life, my grandmother had difficulty recognizing familiar people. One afternoon, her sister came for a visit, and they had a long conversation about the good old days. Later, Grandma commented, "That woman sure knew a lot about my sister!"

On another occasion, the whole extended family was at a party (someone's birthday, I think). Hubby and I were talking to Grandma. Suddenly, as she looked at him, her face lit up with recognition. "You're Bob!" she exclaimed.

"That's right," he agreed.

Then she turned to me with a smile. "And you're Bob's wife," she said.

Yep.



 

Don't Dry Up and Blow Away

Illustration: "A Mad Dog in a Coffee House" (ca 1800), Thomas Rowlandson

One day, my brother stopped by to visit our mother, then in her eighties. He found her sitting on the couch, slumped over her tray table, lethargic and weak. With some difficulty (she was hard to move), he got her to the doctor, where she was diagnosed with dehydration and revived with the application of fluids.

Dehydration is a serious and all-too-common health problem for seniors. There are several reasons for this.

As people age, sensations of thirst diminish. An older person who needs water may not feel thirsty.

People suffering from cognitive impairment may forget to drink, or may simply ignore feelings of thirst or signs of illness.

Kidney function often diminishes with age, leading to fluid imbalance and a tendency to become dehydrated more quickly than a younger person.

Some medications cause dehydration.

Sometimes older folks deliberately drink less, because they want to avoid frequent trips to the toilet. People who suffer from incontinence may try to stay dry.

Avoiding dehydration may require creating a schedule for drinking water. People who dislike water may be encouraged to drink more if they are given juice, flavored water or herbal teas. Eating foods with a high water content can help. Some sports drinks (not energy drinks) may be helpful.

Always rehydrate after spells of diarrhea or vomiting, or after exercising. Remember to drink more than usual in hot weather.

• WebMD: Dehydration in older aduilts
• Mayo Clinic: Dehydration Symptoms and Causes


 

Work Until You Die?

Think about the people who want to raise the retirement age. What kind of jobs do they have? Most have what I call think-talk jobs, jobs that require very little physical exertion, but rely on talking about situations, thinking about problems, attending meetings, applying learned information to situations, reading documents, occasionally writing documents, expressing opinions.

These think-talk jobs are held by Congresspeople, business executives, bankers, some TV personalities, and others whose work is mostly not physical. As long as people retain their mental faculties (and sometimes even when they don't), they can continue doing this kind of work well into old age. People with this kind of work often consider it a big part of their personal identity, and are therefore not interested in retiring. All or most of the people they know do the same kind of work; their contact with other kinds of workers tends to be superficial. It is easy for them to imagine a world in which no one retires before age 80, and maybe not even then.

Compare them to people who have body-using jobs: Construction workers, gardeners, janitors, garbage collectors, farmers, warehouse workers, food servers, and many others. Some jobs that may not look physically demanding really are, because they require the worker to stand for hours. Think of grocery cashiers, hairdressers, department store clerks, and others who are on their feet all day.

People lose strength and stamina as they age. A person at 65, even if healthy, is not as strong as they were at 45. Physically demanding jobs can be hard on the body over time and are often not practical for older people. Yet the people with think-talk jobs often fail to understand the challenges of body-using jobs. A lot of these people ignore the fact that older people are often let go by their employers, sometimes because they are at a higher pay grade, sometimes because they are physically outperformed by younger workers. It is very difficult for people over 50 to get hired anywhere (although it sometimes happens), and it is a rare employer indeed who wants to hire someone over 65.

If we imagine that every person who reaches age 65 has the option of keeping their current job or getting a new one, we are kidding ourselves. Besides, having 75-year-olds on the roof laying shingles or operating a steam press all day doesn't seem like a good idea. Who would feel good about making a great-grandmother clean public restrooms until the day she drops dead from exhaustion? People who have paid into Social Security or some other retirement plan for decades deserve the chance to finally relax and get what they paid for.