Touring the Valley: 2024

He Wants More

A unimaginably wealthy immigrant has so much money, he could give a million dollars to every person in the country, and he'd still be the richest guy in the world. Yet this person wants to reduce the resources available to the rest of us. Why? Why would someone who has everything want to take away the relatively small amounts others have?

The answer is greed. Most of us can understand ordinary greed, the desire to have more than you've already got, the wish to be rich and to have fancy things. But few of us can comprehend the special type of ultra-greed that drives the oligarchs. They are NEVER satisfied. Five yachts aren't enough, if it's possible to get one that's fancier. A fleet of private jets isn't enough, if there's a chance a new one would be faster or more luxurious.

While we can, on an intellectual level, comprehend that someone might feel driven to improve upon his already excellent situation, what we can't understand is why someone who already has everything desperately wants to take the little we have away from us.

The problem with the never-satisfied, ultra-greedy oligarchs is that they don't just want a lot, they don't just want more, they want EVERYTHING. Anything you have, no matter how small, is something they don't have. They want it. This is why they don't care if we die of preventable illnesses, or starvation, or nuclear holocaust. Only if we are dead can they feel sure that we have nothing and they have everything.

As they build their doomsday bunkers, they fantasize about a world in which more than half the population is annihilated. Unfortunately for them, they need workers for a few things, so they can't quite wish for everyone but themselves to vanish.

Random Stuff

In algebra class we used to get problems like this: A 15,000-gallon water tank is 1/3 full. It is leaking two gallons per hour. It can be filled at five gallons per hour. How long will it take to fill the tank? I know how to do the math. But the real solution to this problem never appears in a textbook: Repair the tank.

I'm fed up with "safety" caps that can only be opened by a magician or a contortionist. Squeeze here while twisting and pressing there....

Some people seem to think that any well-known abbreviation is an acronym. Actually, an acronym is an abbreviation that is also a pronounceable word (not just pronouncing the letters of the abbreviation). NATO and FODMAP are acronyms. FBI and NAACP are not.

I am really tired of packaging that is deliberately designed so that it can't be opened, but must be destroyed.

Sometimes when I'm ripping and cutting a package, I remember an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" where Larry complained about items that were sealed in plastic clamshells. His friend said he should use a box cutter. He bought a box cutter, but couldn't use it because it came sealed in a plastic clamshell.

Please stop putting peanut butter in everything.

The Mail

Punch Lines

My work friend Alice was great at telling jokes. Her delight was infectious, and every joke she told seemed hilarious. Even a bad joke sounded really clever when Alice told it.

I wanted to be funny, too, so I tried telling some of Alice's jokes. Clearly, I didn't have her talent for entertaining. People rarely laughed, but just sighed. The truth is that most of Alice's jokes were terrible, the kind of material one might expect from dirty-minded twelve-year-olds. They seemed funny because Alice was energetic and happy when she told them, her timing was excellent, and she usually told them in a bar after everyone had had a few drinks.

Sex and Gender or Whatever

I'm tired of people insisting "There are only two genders", when what they really mean is two sexes.

Gender is a grammatical construct. Some languages, including English, have two or three gendered pronouns (he, she, it), but do not classify other words by gender. Some languages have two genders (Italian and French are examples) that classify all nouns. Although those genders are called "masculine" and "feminine" they really have no relationship to sex, but are arbitrary designations. There is no reason for a table or a shoe to be masculine or feminine, except that it just is. A word that is feminine in one language may be masculine (or neuter) in another.

Languages in which gender is applied to nouns may require agreement; that is the practice whereby words modifying (describing) those nouns are changed (inflected) to take on the noun's gender.

Languages that have grammatical gender typcally have two, three, or four genders. A few have as many as 20. These genders, or noun classes, may include masculine, feminine, animate, inanimate, human, nonhuman, or other categories that have significance within the language.

Note that this is an overly simplified explanation. For more details and a better understanding of how gender operates in languages, see the following links.

● Wikipedia article on grammatical gender
● Duolingo: What is grmmatical gender?
● Toppam: Grammatical genders in different languages

In the meantime, for people who have strong feeling and opinions - or just a bit of curiosity - about dividing humans into two biological sexes, here are some interesting articles.

● Sex Redefined
● The Five Sexes
● Biological Sex is Not a Spectrum
● What's the Difference Between Sex and Gender?

Those Crazy Women

There are standard methods that are used to try to undermine women in public life.

#1 - Attack her sexuality. She slept her way to the top. She's promiscuous. Or she's a lesbian. Or she's frigid (no wonder her husband cheated - see #4). And, more recently: she's really a man.

#2 - Attack her appearance. She's old, she's fat, she dresses badly, she's horse-faced (no wonder her husband cheated - see #4), she looks masculine, she laughs too much, her voice is annoying, her hairstyle is awful. Or she's trying too hard, spends too much time and money on vanity.

#3 - Attack her health. She's an alcoholic. She has a degenerative disease or fatal illness. (If she ever trips or bumps into something, that's proof.) She's mentally ill.

#4 - Attack her husband. He's gay. He cheated. He's a crook. He actually hates her. He's a perv. Or she's wickedly single (See #1).

#5 - Attack her children. They're gay, they're ugly, they got bad grades - she's a bad mother. Or she has no children because there's something wrong with her.

Sometimes some of these are used against men. But it's very predictable that #1, #2 and #4 will be revived for female candidates.

Prescription For Success

I'm going to restructure my company, using the same business model as health care companies. When you order my products, I will send you a smaller quantity than you requested. If you complain, I'll just tell you that I've determined that is all you actually need.

Sometimes I'll send nothing. When you complain, I'll tell you that I've determined that this was an unnecessary order.

Sometimes I'll send a different product, with a note saying you must try this first to see if it works out before you can have what you ordered.

Sometimes I'll ship exactly what you ordered, but I'll include a bill for another 25%. When you question the bill, I'll tell you it's a required co-payment.

This will be great.

What Are We Paying Them For?

One time, my husband was really sick with a respiratory infection. The doctor had prescribed some medicine to relieve his symptoms, and he had used it all, so the doctor called the pharmacy with a prescription for more. Later, I called the pharmacy to see if the medicine was ready, and I was told they hadn't filled the prescription because insurance declined it! The insurance company's position was that it was "too soon" for Hubby to get more medicine, even though his doctor thought he should have it.

I told the pharmacy to forget insurance, I would pay. It wasn't actually a lot of money. Overall, there are probably many cases where it costs the company more to deny a claim (paying the drones who do the paperwork and deal with the patient's complaints) than it would to just go ahead and pay for it.

Costs aside, I don't understand why office workers who have never even met the patient are allowed to overrule his licensed physician, who has firsthand knowledge of his illness and is trained to treat it.

We think we are paying these companies to provide for our health care. We think their purpose is to help us pay medical bills. They think their purpose is to just collect our money and dole it out to shareholders and millionaire executives.

Still Thinking

Eat the rich, and your family is fed for a day. Tax the rich, and they'll be fed for life.

Imagine you can go back in time and talk to a Republican from the 1950s or 1960s. You tell him that there are some politicians who want to prevent large numbers of citizens from voting, and they also want to throw out election results that don't favor their party. Further, they would like to eliminate the FBI. Would he exclaim, "What a wonderful group of Conservatives!"? He would not. To the traditional conservative, those people would sound like a bunch of Communists.

If the CEO is out of town for two weeks, nothing changes, everyone keeps on doing what they do, the company keeps running. But if the janitor goes AWOL, trash piles up , the bathrooms become unusable, people start calling in sick, and pretty soon nothing is getting done.

In a couple of months the White House will just be QVC on steroids.

Will Donald's "inaugural address" be sponsored by a reverse mortgage company? Will he interrupt the speech to do a promo for trump support hosiery? If Mel attends the inaugural ball, will she be interviewed about her new line of South African emerald jewelry?

Another Day at School

Imagine you're eight and in the second grade. All you had for breakfast was nothing because your mom leaves for her job in the meat processing plant at 6:00 am, and your older sister (twelve) gets you up at 8:00 am, but she doesn't cook breakfast, and there's no food in the kitchen except some candy corn left over from Halloween and a couple of beers your mom's boyfriend left in the fridge (you already know you don't like beer). Oh, yeh, there's a box of Hamburger Helper, but no hamburger meat. Sometimes the lady next door gives you a peanut butter sandwich, but not today. There's also a half-empty jug of milk next to the beer, but it smells bad.

You're in class. The teacher is saying something about fractions, but you feel embarrassed because the growling in your stomach seems louder than her voice. It's almost lunch time. Not that you care, because you didn't bring anything and you don't have any money for the cafeteria. At this point, which would be the best thing to help you focus on your schoolwork? A wall poster listing the Ten Commandments, or a free breakfast?

Random Thoughts

My daily life got easier when I stopped fighting with my hair.

No matter what you do, there is always someone who thinks you should do something else.

Imagine thinking the actor who played a surgeon on TV is really a surgeon who could operate on you. Dumb, huh? Yet many people still think the actor who played a businessman on TV is really a businessman who could make good decisions.

Ableism is expressed mostly through architecture and interior design.

I was just a kid playing the piano. They never taught me that music is mathematical. I still remember the moment I saw it. My playing got better after that.

Sometimes I think I'll never need to blog again because "they" can't come up with anything more ridculous or evil than they already have. And then....

You never really know what someone will do until they do it.

Ranting About Billionaires

Is your yearly budget less than a million dollars? If you had a billion dollars, you could spend a million a year for a thousand years, and you still wouldn't run out, because all that time, your money would have been invested in accounts that pay interest and dividends, so more money just keeps rolling in.

Now, imagine you had not just one billion, not two billion, but a hundred billion, or three hundred billion. With 300 billion, you could spend a million dollars EVERY DAY, and you'd have money left over at the end of 22,000 years.

That sure seems like enough money, doesn't it? But the guys who have that much, or close to it, don't think it's enough at all. They can own dozens of homes in different countries, buy private islands, own personal jets and huge yachts, indulge in collecting rare automobiles or historical jewelry, go anywhere they like, purchase any clothing, any food they want, get cosmetic surgery every year, send their children to the greatest universities, spend the night gambling in Monte Carlo, ski at the most exclusive resorts, get the best medical care in the world, bribe politicians just about everywhere, build stadiums and skyscrapers with their name on it, and - just for a change of pace - donate millions to charity. But they still don't think they have enough. They are constantly scheming to get even more. Many of those schemes require taking away what other people - you and me - have.

They want the power to make us pay for the infrastructure and institutions that make modern life possible for them. While they make $5000 a minute, they begrudge us $15 an hour. They want to eliminate the rules that keep our food safe and our water clean, because they can make bigger profits if they don't have to be clean or careful.

Why? Why do they want to cancel the retirement income of the elderly, cut off health care for the middle class, or withhold food from schoolchildren? They want every possible penny in their own pockets. They already have more than enough, more than too much. But they aren't satisfied. Greed gnaws at them the way hunger gnaws at a starving animal. More, more, more, howl the voices inside them. The sight of comfortable people enjoying safe, healthy lives fills them with anxiety. Those people driving nice cars and living in pretty houses represent pennies that should be in the billionaires' pockets. Your retirement account is cash that they want.

They are much happier when the world around them is populated by hungry peasants dressed in rags and dying young, because then they can feel assured that they have taken everything for themselves.

Links:

♦ Billionaires Lying to Convince Us to Destroy Our Government
♦ Billionaires Hate Us

The Right Person For the Job

Imagine you have a problem with the electrical wiring in your home. You call a company that advertises as an electrical contractor. However, it turns out the owner of the company is not an electrician. He's a guy who used to manage a pizza place, and he often talks about the "concepts of electricity."

You're not worried, because he won't be doing the actual work. He just hired a head electrician. Until recently, this guy was a swimming instructor. He has never attended a trade school to learn the electrician's craft, but he does have several family members who are plumbers or carpenters, and claims to have some important ideas about electricity.

There is another recently-hired electrician who is actually a lawyer, not a licensed electrician. He writes a blog explaining that county building codes do not protect public safety. He thinks building inspectors should be replaced by yoga instructors and nutritionists.

The third employee was a licensed electrical contractor, but his license expired three years ago. According to Yelp reviews, he often tells customers that spaghetti is a good substitute for copper wire.

Knowing all this, would you go ahead and hire this company, or would you look elsewhere?

Cheating is Hard Work

When I was in college I had a 4.0 GPA. I'm not a genius! The main difference between me and the guys who flunked out was that I paid attention in class, and I studied.

Once in algebra class, after a big test, everyone was comparing grades. Most of the people around me had scores below 60. Mine was 85. One guy asked me how I did it. I explained to him that I had spent approximately 16 hours studying. "Well then, you deserve it," he said. He looked very sad, though. I think he had been hoping I would reveal some magic trick that anyone could do. Actually, that's what it was.

Later, when I became a teacher, I noticed there were many students who believed the only way they could get good grades was by cheating. They would put a lot of energy into devising clever ways of cheating. Sometimes they got away with it, but in the long run they did not do well, because they didn't learn much. They were never able to pass the carefully proctored final exams.

If only they had taken all the time, effort, and ingenuity that went into cheating and used it for actual studying, they would have easily graduated with honors. Instead they had to take classes over, and some never graduated.

Call Back Later

There was a time when all our phones were landlines. We didn't call them landlines; we just called them phones. They were attached to the wall by cords. Some people equipped their phones with extra long cords so they could walk across the room while talking.

My friend Char, who lived in a small studio apartment, had a cord long enough that she could get to any spot in the apartment while she was on the phone. On a couple of occasions, while we were conversing, I heard the toilet flush.

"If you're going to use the toilet while we're talking," I told her, "I don't want to know. Please flush after we hang up."

Now that everyone has a mobile phone, it seems that making calls from the toilet is a common practice. I notice this in public restrooms, where I often hear the person in the next stall chatting away. Some women like to use the handicap stall as a phone booth. (These are probably the same people who use it as a dressing room.)

At home, it doesn't occur to me to carry my phone into the bathroom. In a public place, my phone is in my purse and goes where I go. If it rings while I'm busy, I don't answer.

Some people, though, can't resist answering a call. And if the call of nature happens simultaneously with the call of the phone, they multitask. Some see their toilet time as an opportunity for privacy, and schedule their calls accordingly.

A recent study suggests the 39 percent of people take their phones to the washroom, and that nearly half of those people have dropped the phone into the toilet. This isn't good for the phones. I once managed to accidentally drop my phone into a glass of water, just a week after I got it. Fortunately, it was insured, and I got a quick replacement. As silly as I felt at the time, how much more embarrassed would I have been if the phone had vanished into the commode?

Although the obvious solution is to stop making calls in the bathroom, it seems unlikely people will change that bevavior. I suggest wearing the phone on a lanyard. Many people have already thought of this, and there is a wide choice of suitable products available from all the usual places.

Who's Listening?

My college friend Eleni had both sets of grandparents who were immigrants from Greece. Both her parents grew up bilingual, speaking mostly Greek at home, and English in the world.

Describing her childhood, Eleni told me how annoyed she was by her parents and all her older relatives, because when she was little, they spoke Greek as a way of keeping secrets from the kids. "It was rude and sneaky," she grumbled. "They treated us like we didn't have the right to know what was happening."

One day I had a conversation with Eleni's mother. Reminiscing about the past and the days when her children were younger, she told me she felt sorry that her kids had never learned to speak Greek. "We tried to encourage them," she said. "We would often speak Greek around them, hoping they would pick it up, or that they would get curious and want to learn it. But they never did."

Is This Pornography?

Historically, authoritarians have censored dissidents and others they dislike by accusing them of being pornographers who corrupt children.

Something many people don't know about Project 2025 is that its authors intend to make pornography illegal again, but not before they first change how pornography is defined.

Pornography is typically defined as sexually explicitly material (video, written, or audio) that is intended to cause sexual arousal. Educational material, such as medical books or sex-education texts, are usually exempt from being considered pornography, as is material which has "socially redeeming value".

Currently in the US, pornography is not usually illegal, unless it depicts children, or if it is provided to children, or if it depicts people who did not give consent, or if it is determined to be "obscene" - completely lacking artistic or social value and offensive to community standards.

The key thing to remember is that, legal or not, throughout history, pornography has been understood to be explicitly sexual, or to be "indecent" in its portrayal of the human body. (There are longer discussions to be had about how different societies define indecency, or what kinds of things were or weren't taboo in other places at other times.)

Project 2025, however, would expand the definition of pornography by including anything that depicts or mentions gender identity or transgender information. Christine Jorgensen's autobiography would be labeled porn, as would the song, "Take a Walk on the Wild Side", as would my posting an anecdote about how my nephew became my niece. Librarians who allowed people to check out these newly forbidden books would face prison time and would become registered sex offenders. See Page 5 of the manifesto.

This new concept of pornography is just part of the Heritage Foundation's drive to demonize LGBTQ (with a particular emphasis on the trans community). On page 4, they claim that certain words and phrases - sexual orientation and gender identity, diversity, equity, and inclusion, gender, gender equality, gender equity, gender awareness, gender-sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights - "deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights" and must be purged from "every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists."

They do not explain how the existence or use of a word can deprive people of First Amendment rights (which include the right to free speech).

Project 2025 is no longer just a proposal or a looming threat. Donald's advisors and other Republicans have now openly stated that it is their agenda.

The Project 2025 manifesto is difficult reading, most likely deliberately so. It is over 900 pages of academic-style writing, heavy-handed propaganda, strange fantasies, and outright lies. It often uses code words and convoluted language to disguise its true intent. Nevertheless, we should all become familiar with it. A good way to start is to read the comic book version.

Links:

• Comic Version of Project 2025
• Online version of the manifesto
• Republicans Admit Project 2025 is Their Agenda
• Christine Jorgensen's autobiography
• On Tyranny

It Only Happens to Other People

Maybe you don't care that donald speaks as if his sentences were produced by a random number generator. After all, not everyone can be a great public speaker, and there is no requirement that presidential candidates demonstrate English fluency.

And maybe you don't care that donald calls for the execution of people who disagree with him. After all, it's just a fantasy, and we have laws to prevent it from actually happening. At least, we do right now.

Maybe you don't care that donald has encouraged his supporters to shoot reporters. After all, it's unlikely they'll take him seriously, right? And if a few reporters are killed, so what? They probably deserved it for revealing how donald speaks, and for showing photos of his makeup. Anyway, we don't actually need to know about current events when we have social media and podcasts to inform us.

And maybe you don't care that donald has called for rounding up millions of immigrants and putting them in detention camps on the way to deporting them. If several thousand citizens get rounded up by mistake, it's a small price to pay for removing all those non-human vermin people from the country. So what if it requires sending the National Guard into neighborhoods to pound on doors and conduct warrantless searches of homes? You've got nothing to hide, right?

It probably hasn't occurred to you that the time will come when you, or people you like, are targeted for imprisonment, deportation, or execution. As time goes on, it could easily happen that your heritage (German, Italian, Armenian, Greek, Spanish, or whatever) could be labeled as a problem, especially if we have a political dispute or war with your ancestors' home country.

Or your church might fall out of favor. Or certain professions, not just reporters, but maybe doctors, architects, teachers, or farmers, could be denounced for not following the party line. Or maybe a spiteful neighbor could report you as a communist, even though all you did was laugh at a joke about donald. Not that you're likely to encounter many of those jokes, once all the comedians are in prison.

Hold Still While I "Help" You

Random Thoughts

I want a President who loves this country, not one who thinks America is a garbage can.

People are so angry now, they will curse you for agreeing with them.

One of the ways Pol Pot undermined his country's economy was to deliberately assign people to work in jobs they weren't qualified for.

When we get our voter pamphlet in the mail, I go through it, research the candidates and issues, and then circle my recommendations. Hubby is, of course, free to take my advice or not.

I'm old enough to remember when people expected Presidents to be role models for their children, and every candidate behaved accordingly.

Can you imagine George H. Bush making a series of speeches and repeatedly calling his technical crew stupid? Can you imagine Gerald Ford in an interview suggesting his political opponents should be shot in the face? Can you imagine Ronald Reagan having microphone problems and then threatening to beat up the tech crew?

Stop putting bacon on everything.

Politicians and Other Sadists

A few weeks ago, there were a lot of news stories about the CEO of the National Rifle Association (NRA), Douglas Hamlin. When Hamlin was in college, he and some of his fraternity brothers tortured a cat to death. At the time, the story received quite a bit of coverage in the local news, with outraged citizens calling for harsh punishments.

The young men did not receive harsh punishments. They had to move out of the fraternity house, but were not expelled from school. Apparently, they paid small fines and were sentenced to community service.

Every article I have seen about this, whether from the time of the crime, or current, has included a description of what these monsters did to that cat. I'm sorry to have that knowledge. I will not repeat it here. Anyone who wants the disgusting details can look it up.

Some people say that this guy shouldn't be penalized for one thing he did over 40 years ago. I say that it probably wasn't an isolated incident. Animal abusers tend to start small and get worse over time. This was such an over-the-top act, it is impossible to imagine that it was the first - or only - time for the participants. Further, sadism is typically just one part of a psychopathology or a personality disorder that rarely improves.

People with antisicial personality disorder display a long-term pattern of disdain for others and violations of others' rights. It is probably no coincidence that a sadistic personality rose to a high position in an organization that habitually minimizes the suffering and deaths of thousands of human beings, and that asserts a "right" that it champions over the right to life.

Links:

• NRA faces pressure to suspend CEO Warning: this article includes gruesome details near the end.

• The Republican Pet Killing Brigade Note: Contains minor details about violent acts.

• Animal Cruelty Facts

"Nothing We Could Do"

Imagine your beautiful wife is pregnant. You have been having a great time preparing for the new baby. You've painted the nursery and set up a nice crib and changing table. The ultrasound has revealed that the baby will be a boy, and the two of you are seriously debating what name to give him. Life is wonderful.

Then one night, you hear your wife moaning and gasping in the bathroom. You walk in to see her lying on the floor, blood soaking the bathroom rug and her nightgown. Fortunately, your phone is in your pocket, so you can stay with her while you call 911. The ambulance arrives quickly, and the EMTs tell you what you already suspected: it looks like your wife is having a miscarriage.

At the hospital, the doctors confirm the bad news. In the morning, they release her with some medication and instructions for home care. It seems she can't stop crying over this loss, and you are feeling the grief.

Two days later, she does not feel better physically. In fact, she is in more pain, and she's still bleeding. The doctor said there might be light bleeding, but this seems like too much. You take her back to the hospital. The doctor says that some tissue was left behind by the miscarriage. There is now a risk of infection. Unfortunately, there is nothing they can do at this time.

You feel stunned. Nothing they can do? The nurse explains that the traditional treatment would be a minor surgical procedure, known as a D&C, to remove the tissue from the uterus. However, because of your state's anti-abortion laws, they cannot perform this procedure.

"Abortion?" you ask. "But my wife isn't pregnant. She had a miscarriage two days ago, so there's no possible abortion!" The nurse looks grim as she explains that because of the law, hospital policy prohibits any D&C unless a woman's life is in danger. If the doctor violated this policy, he could risk life in prison.

"But isn't her life in danger?" you demand. "If an infection develops, it could kill her!"

The nurse just shakes her head sadly as she hands you your wife's discharge papers. "Just go home and have her rest. She can take these antibiotics. Maybe her body will expel the tissue naturally. If she develops a high fever or bleeds enough to fill a few maxi pads, bring her back."

Feeling like you're in a nightmare, you take your wife home again. The painkillers and antibiotics don't seem to be helping. She continues to bleed, and by now she's a bit feverish. You find yourself pacing back and forth, checking on her every two minutes. When her fever reaches 102, you can't stand it any more, and, once again, you drive her to the hospital.

The doctor confirms that she now has a septic infection. Her life is in immediate danger, so at last they can treat her. She is whisked off to the operating room. You wait, pacing the hallway, for hours.

Finally, the doctor reappears, looking sad. "I'm so sorry," he says. "We did everything we could, but we couldn't save her."

You feel a surge of hot anger, and you start yelling. "You didn't do everything you could! You could have helped her two days ago, or even yesterday. But you just waited until she was dying!" You choke on your own rage and pain, hot tears and snot running down your face.

"I'm sorry," the doctor repeats. You realize that he is truly sorry, but that is not going to bring back the woman you love.

Later, as you stand next to the gurney that holds your wife's body, looking down at her sweet face, the nurse hands you a clipboard with some papers to sign. "Is there anyone we can call for you?" she asks. You realize that your parents, and your wife's parents, have no idea what has happened. Having the hospital call them so that you don't have to is the kindest thing that has happened to you here.

Somehow, you get home. The house seems too big and too quiet. Upstairs, you rip the blood-soaked sheets off the bed, throw them into the nursery, and close the door.

Whatever Happened to Hitler's Generals?

We've heard a lot about Hitler's generals lately. Who were they, really? I've looked up the stories of a few of them.

Walther Heinrich Alfred Hermann von Brauchitsch was Commander-in-Chief of the German Army during the first two years of World War II. Brauchitsch and others considered overthrowing Hitler, but he decided against it. Although Brauchitsch led several successful campaigns, Hitler blamed him for the failure of the attack on Moscow. Brauchitsch was forced into retirement. After the war, he was charged with war crimes, but died before he could be prosecuted, age 67.

Friedrich Olbricht was a commander in the invasion of Poland. He was eventually promoted to Chief of the Armed Forces Reserve Office. Olbricht was a key figure in Operation Valkyrie, a plot to assassinate Hitler and take over the government. Following the failure of the plot, he was executed by firing squad, age 55.

Fritz Erich Georg Eduard von Manstein was considered one of the most talented field commanders. He commanded several successful operations and took 430,000 Soviet prisoners. At the Nuremberg trials, he presented a document and oral testimony in defense of the General Staff. He was tried for war crimes in Hamburg in 1949, where he was found guilty of nine charges and sentenced to 18 years. His sentence was reduced, and he served only four years. In 1955 Manstein was a consultant on rebuilding the German army. His memoir, published in 1955, became a best-seller. He died of a stroke in 1977, age 85.

Henning Hermann Karl Robert von Tresckow was involved in the 1940 invasion of France. He served in several campaigns and invasions, and signed orders to kidnap thousands of Polish and Ukrainian children to use as slave labor. Tresckow tried to kill Hitler by having a colleague plant a bomb in his plane; the bomb failed to explode. He participated in several other failed assassination plots, including Operation Valkyrie. After Valkyrie’s failure, he killed himself with a grenade, age 43.

Johannes Erwin Eugen Rommel led German and Italian forces in North Africa. He was given the nickname “Desert Fox,” and had a reputation for chivalry. He later commanded German forces opposing the Normandy invasion. Rommel was implicated in a plot to assassinate Hitler, and was encouraged to commit suicide. He took a cyanide pill, age 52.

Friedrich Wilhelm Waldemar Fromm was commander of Germany’s Reserve Army in World War II. He was part of Operation Valkyrie. When the plot failed, he attempted to hide his involvement by ordering a quick court-martial and execution for some of the other conspirators. His participation in the plot could not be proved because the witnesses were dead, so he was instead convicted of cowardice and executed by firing squad, age 56.

Oskar Wilhelm Robert Paul Ludwig Hellmuth von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg was the son of a former German president. As a retired general, he came out of retirement in World War II to supervise several prisoner of war camps. He resigned because he considered the position a demotion. He was a prosecution witness at the Nuremberg trials. He died of a heart attack in 1960, age 77.

Karl Rudolf Gerd von Rundstedt came out of retirement for World War II, becoming a commander in the invasion of Poland, and in the Battle of France. He requested the Halt Order during the Battle of Dunkirk. He was commander the largest encirclement in history, the Battle of Kiev. Hitler dismissed him after the defeat at Normandy, then recalled him as Commander-in-Chief in the West. Rundstedt knew about some of the plots to depose Hitler, but neither joined nor reported them. Ater the war he was accused of war crimes, but was considered too old and sick to stand trial, although he did appear as a defense witness. He died of heart failure in 1953, age 77.

Random Thoughts

The great thing about landlines was that you always knew which room the phone was in.

People say that as we get older, we start turning into our parents. I seem to be skipping them and going straight to my grandparents.

It's great to know that all the former infectious disease specialists and Constitutional scholars are now disaster relief experts.

This'll never happen, but I would LOVE to see both candidates on stage in soundproof booths taking a standard IQ test, results to be scored and revealed immediately.

I'm waiting to meet an American citizen who really wanted a job picking fruit in the heat, and lost that job to an immigrant.

Spite

My aunt Martha was a serious grudge-holder. She always assumed that everyone else remembered all the petty little things from 40 years ago that she referred to obliquely, imagining that she had scored a zinger, when actually no one knew what she was talking about.

Martha would relate anecdotes in which she had enjoyed what she thought was a "gotcha" moment. Once at the City Clerk's office, where she was annoyed by having to file some kind of paperwork, she reminded the young person behind the window that "This city doesn't actually exist, legally," and belived she had scored points when the worker had nothing to say in response. Martha's remark was based on her memory of something that had happened decades earlier, when there was some technical irregularity in the city's incorporation papers. She assumed everyone with a city job knew about that.

Like a lot of self-righteous people, Martha always imagined that if people had no response to her pronouncements, it meant they knew she was right. It never occurred to her that they just thought she was crazy.

Martha was married over 60 years to Frank, who often seemed baffled by the endless supply of anger his wife harbored. Many of her most cherished grudges involved him, something he had or hadn't said or done when they were dating and during the early years of their marriage. One of her favorites was that he had complimented her potato salad when they went on a picnic, but later admitted he really hated it. In her eyes, that made him a liar, and she never forgave him for the revelation that her cooking skills were subpar.

In his eighties, Frank experienced health problems, along wth a cognitive decline. His ability to process information deteriorated, he exercised poor judgment, and he was no longer able to drive. He became dependent on Martha for nearly everything.

Once, I was at their house, helping Martha reorganize the garage. We were chatting about random things, and she began telling me a story from her early life with Frank. They had rented a small house in an old neighborhood, not within walking distance of any shops or businesses. It sounded to me like what today we would call a "food desert". They had one car, which Frank drove to work every day, leaving Martha at home with the baby.

One day, she asked him to pick up something for her on his way home. He declined, because it was out of his way, and said she'd have to wait for the weekend, when she could get it herself. She was bitterly disappointed and never forgot his selfishness.

"Last week," she said, "there was some little thing Frank wanted me to get for him. I told him I couldn't do it because it was out of my way, and he could wait until the weekend. He remembered. Oh, he remembered." With a smug look on her face, she continued moving boxes.

I didn't believe Frank remembered the incident Martha was referencing. More likely, he just felt helpless, even hopeless, at the mercy of a mysteriously angry woman who could arbitrarily deny his requests. I wondered if she was planning to get revenge for every slight, every disappointment, every misstep for the past sixty years. I wondered if I should investigate further, and if I would have to call Adult Protective Services.

Frank was inside, watching TV with the volume turned up. He asked me where Martha was, and appeared reassured when I said she was cleaning the garage. It seemed unlikely that he recalled last week's conversation.

Frank had a third heart attack later that year, and did not survive. Martha no longer had the strength or the will to maintain the house, so she moved into assisted living, where she survived another ten years, accumulating minor grudges against the manager, a couple of the housekeepers, and some lady named Helen.

Random Thoughts

Young women who want their tubes tied are often refused by doctors who tell them that their future husband might want children. So their lives are being controlled by the imaginary preferences of an imaginary man.

A lot of people think they know things.

If Republicans succeed in eliminating the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), which includes the National Weather Service and the National Hurricane Center, they'll be able to deny disaster relief to communities devastated by disastrous storms by claiming, "It wasn't a hurricane, it was your fault for leaving your sprinklers running."

All those prescription drug ads on TV are required to mention possible side effects. Essentially, they end up saying, "This may make you feel better for a while, but it could ruin your life and end up killing you." So, not much different from heroin?

My favorite prescription drug ad is the one where Mom has Alzheimer's and gets angry when people push her around, as anyone would, so they decide to drug her into submission.

Every opinion (even something as innocuous as your favorite ice cream) has the potential to infuriate someone.

I have two known ancestors who fought (on our side) in the American Revolution. That doesn't make me a hero. I also have one known ancestor who owned slaves. That doesn't make me a villain.
I didn't get to pick my ancestors, and they didn't get to pick me.

Proof of Citizenship

What would I do if I had to prove my citizenship? I'd use my passport. What if, like more than half of U.S. citizens, I didn't have a passport?

Without a passport, an enhanced driver's license (or enhanced state ID card) will do. I don't have one of those, so I need to assemble the documents that will be required to get it.

I need to start by getting a copy of my birth certificate. I don't live in the county (or state) where I was born, so a trip to the courthouse is impractical. Fortunately, I can order one by mail.

If I was born abroad to U.S citizens, I could use a Consular Report of Birth Abroad. A copy can be obtained by mailing a notarized application form and $50.00. If I wasn't born a U.S citizen, but moved to the U.S. and became naturalized, my naturalization certificate would work. Most likely, I would have this in my possession. In fact, if I were a naturalized citizen I could probably use that certificate as proof of citizenship and just skip the enhanced driver's license. But I'm a citizen by birth, so I need to keep working on this.

My birth state has a website that offers a choice between an "informational copy" and a "certified copy." The informational copy will be stamped with the words "Informational, not valid to establish identity," so I need the certified copy. I can print an application form to fill out. I'll also need to fill out a sworn statement saying that I am who I am, and get it notarized.

The fee for the certificate is $29.00. I can get my application notarized at the UPS store three miles away for $10.00. That's $39.00 plus postage for the birth certificate.

I mail the notarized statement with a check for $29.00. According to the state website, average processing time is 12-14 weeks. Yikes!

My current name is not the same as the name on my birth certificate, so I'll need to document that. The DMV will accept a passport (which, for purposes of this story, I don't have) or a certified copy of a marriage or divorce decree or court-ordered name change. Let's assume I changed my name when I got married. Getting the marriage certificate is a lot like getting the birth certificate. This costs $17.00, plus another $10.00 for notarization. If I've been married more than once, I need copies of all marriage certificates. The processing time is still 12-14 weeks. Let's hope I figured this out and mailed this application at the same time as the birth certificate request.

If I had legally changed my name by court decree, a certified copy costs $40.00.

Next, I need a proof of identity, which could be a passport, military ID, driver's license, government employee ID card, or certificate of naturalization. I'll use my current driver's license (assuming they'll accept it with an outdated address).

I now need to two proofs of my current address. These could include a bank statement, utility bill, vehicle registration, professional license, home ownership document, or some other kind of official document (as listed on the DMV website), or postmarked mail. I can use a document in my spouse's name if I also show a marriage certificate. This seems like it should be easy,but I'm finding it strangely difficult. I've lived in this house only a short time, and so far the only mail I've received is junk mail for the previous occupant. My bank account is online, and I don't yet have a printable statement with this address. My driver's license is two addresses behind, because the DMV doesn't issue a new license when an address change is reported. Since I'm waitng 12-14 weeks to get those birth and marriage certificates, maybe by then I'll have something I can use.

So far, I have spent $66.00 plus postage. Add another $27.00 for each additional marriage, if applicable. Don't forget the fee my state charges for a new driver's license. Fees are different in different states, and not all states or counties make it easy to order documents online or by mail. Typically, the fee is the same if the documents are obtained at the courthouse or hall of records. Some states do not consider vital records (birth, marriage, death) to be public records, and may require more than just a notarized statement to prove someone is allowed to receive the necessary certificates.

Three months after I started, my birth and marriage certificates arrive. Now I'm ready to visit the DMV with my pile of documents. Since the election is in Novenmber, it would be great if I had started this in July or August - maybe earlier, depending on my state's voter registration deadline.

Fees and procedures described above apply to the county and state where I was born. Some localities charge significantly higher fees or make it much more difficult to get copies of documents.

Note that, as of this writing, proof of citizenship does not always require an enhanced driver's license (aka Real ID), which is typically intended as identification for traveling by air. In many cases, a certified birth certificate is sufficient, provided the person's current name appearing on other forms of ID is exactly the same as on the birth certificate. Changes in spelling (Janice vs. Janis, Stephen vs. Steven) or use of an alternate form (Mike vs. Michael, Dave vs. David) may require additional documentation, which is not necessarily possible to obtain. Common sense is not admissable. People who change surnames upon marriage need to provide certified marriage and/or divorce certificates.

Some people do not have birth certificates. This may be the case for people who were not born in a hospital or clinic. (It can also be a problem for older people born in rural areas where record keeping was not meticulous, or in cases where public records have been lost or destroyed.) In the case of home births, counties or states allow registration of the birth, but sometimes people simply don't bother to register a home birth. For people who have reached adulthood without ever having a birth certificate, it may be possible to obtain a "delayed birth certificate". This requires sworn statements from witnesses, such as the mother or someone else who was present at the time. My grandfather was never able to get one, becase at the time he applied, his parents were dead, and the bureaucrats did not accept his sister as a witness.

A Social Security card is not considered proof of citizenship. According to the Social Security Administration, proof is one of these: Certificate of Naturalization, birth certificate (or equivalent), U.S. Passport or Passport Card.

For more information on proof of citizenship or acquistion of important documents, see these links:

US Passports
Real ID

The Doctor Won't See You Now

When I had cancer, my doctors were glad that it had been discovered at a very early stage. We scheduled surgery right away, and they were able to remove the entire tumor, with no trace left behind. I made a full recovery, and I'm healthy now.

It is important to note that the doctors were aware that the tumor could grow, and that, left untreated, the cancer would eventually progress from stage one to stage four, and if that happened, I would be in serious trouble. They didn't wait to see if things got worse, but instead took action quickly to make sure that I would be as safe as possible.

Again, when my mother was diagnosed with glaucoma, the disease was in an early stage. If glaucoma is left untreated, it will put increasing pressure on the eye, causing pain and impaired vision, eventually damaging the optic nerve, resulting in blindness. But when caught early, the condition can be managed with medication, laser treatments, and surgery. No reputable doctor would withhold treatment, waiting until you can't see anything and your eye is about to explode, before intervening.

In the modern world, we expect our medical providers to recognize symptoms, understand the prognosis, and provide treatment that will reduce pain, prevent long-term damage, and avoid death.

However, in some parts of America, once considered a medically advanced nation, there are laws that require doctors to refuse care to some patients, even when the doctors know that these patients are likely to suffer and can predict that the patients will experience life-threatening complications that, if they manage to survive, may leave them with permanent damage. These are patients whose suffering, damage, and death are completely preventable. Yet the doctor must wait until the moment the patient is about to die before providing treatment.

I'm talking about women who experience miscarriages. In some states, bizarre anti-abortion laws prevent doctors from providing what was once standard care for miscarriage. Instead, women are left bleeding in hospital parking lots or told to go home and wait until things get worse. Some of these women are left so damaged that they cannot have more children; others die.

Read about Amber Thurman: This young mother's death was preventable.

Read about Jaci Stratton: She was told to bleed out.

Sadly, these are not isolated cases. It doesn't take much effort to find women who were neglected in the most horrible way. Many women have had to travel to other states to get the life-saving care they needed. Women who are too sick to travel are trapped.

There is no excuse for this. We live in a country with well-trained doctors and nurses, with well-equipped hospitals. Any condition other than pregnancy is treated with the patient's best interests in mind. What is deliberately being done to women in certain Republican-dominated states is beyond inexcusable. It is evil.

We must stop fanatical, undereducated politicians from intruding in the life-and-death decisions that should be made by medical professionals. As individuals, we can contact elected representatives and express our opinions. Most importantly, we can vote against the politicians who are willing to kill us.

Just One More Thing

Years ago, at one of my first real jobs, I had a lot of little responsibilities in an office. I delivered inter-office mail, filed paperwork, typed memos, made copies, relieved the receptionist on her breaks, etc.

Over time, people began asking me to do more little things. They wanted more copies, they needed more things typed, someone had to supervise a student intern, and so on. It wasn't difficult to add one more little thing. And then another little thing. and another.

To be honest, I didn't really notice that I was doing so much more work than I had started with. But when I left that job, they had to replace me with two people.

Don't Cross That Line

Imagine you are pregnant and you live in a state that has completely outlawed all abortions. That's okay, because you don't want an abortion. They've also made it illegal to travel out of state for the purpose of getting an abortion somewhere else. That's still okay, because you definitely don't want an abortion.

You're driving to visit your sister in the next state, and she's going to give you some baby furniture and clothes that she has from her five kids. As you near the state line, you see a flashing light in your rear view mirror. You pull over. The state trooper checks your license and registration and asks where you're going. You tell him, and he says, "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to turn around."

"But why?" you ask.

He looks annoyed, but explains, "There's a women's clinic just over the state line on this road. It's illegal for you to go there."

You smile. "I'm not going to a clinic. I'm heading to my sister's house, 50 miles beyond the state line."

The trooper shakes his head. "Ma'am, I'm sure you understand why I can't just take your word for that. We get a lot of lawbreakers on this stretch of highway."

"But look at me!" you protest. "I'm eight months pregnant. This baby was planned. We've already named her."

The trooper is starting to lose patience. "Ma'am, I'm pretty sure you know as well as I do they could abort that baby right up until birth. You need to turn the car around and go home."

You realize that it's pointless to argue, so you make a U-turn while the trooper watches, and go back the way you came.

Later, you call your sister and tell her what happened. You suggest that maybe she could bring the baby things to you, but she declines because she's afraid that if she sets foot in your state, she'll never get out.

Those People Did Bad Things

Imagine that a power-hungry politician decides to stir up outrage by demonizing some people in your town. You might feel bad about what he's doing, but since you aren't one of "those people," you think it doesn't affect you.

However, people from outside your town become stirred up by the stories that are being told. Some of them pretend to be journalists and come to your town to "investigate." They either find a few people who are willing to get attention by confirming the rumors, or they find people who oppose the rumors and use them in an unfairly edited context to make it seem like they confirm the rumors.

More outsiders arrive, in a wave of hostile tourism, determined to "see for themselves." As the nasty rumors continue to be repeated, even some local people start imagining they might be true, although police, the mayor, the fire department, and most residents all say the stories are false.

Some angry people make threats against the people who have been accused. Some make threats against the city council. A few crazy people make bomb threats, leading to lockdowns and evacuations of businesses and schools, including the school where your kids are. Now, at last, it's affecting you.

It's Time For A Care Home

Sometimes it's hard to know when a family member's cognitive functions begin to deteriorate. People often say, "He was always like this, except now it's worse," in reference to paranoia, irritability, bossiness, sneakiness, or whatever negative personality trait is no longer inhibited.

Eventually it becomes impossible to deny what is happening. He leaves the front door standing open. Her car is covered in little dents and scrapes. He leaves plates of food spoiling in odd locations around the house. She is convinced that strange urban legends are actually true. He makes disastrous financial decisions. She tells long stories about her life that never happened. He gets lost on the way to the grocery store. She doesn't recognize her sister. He thinks Haiti is part of Venezuela. She is convinced that the new neighbors ate someone's cat.

Sad as it is, the time has come to take away the keys and consider safer living arrangements.

The Failure of Tariffs

If a politician tells you that tariffs will make a lot of money for the government, he's telling you that tariffs don't work.

What?

Here's why. A tariff is a sales tax on foreign goods. This tax is paid by American companies when they import products from other countries, and then it's passed on to the consumer.

The purpose of the tariff (sales tax) is to make imported items so expensive that people will stop buying them. If the tariff works, people stop buying those things. When they stop buying the things, the things are no longer coming into the country, and so there is no tariff to pay.

If tariffs are still being paid, it means the goods are still being imported, because the tariff didn't get people to stop buying those items. A tariff that continues to bring in lots of money is a tariff that failed to stop the influx of foreign goods.

So, the politician who tells you that tariffs will provide the government with an ongoing stream of billions of dollars is a politician who is telling you he already expects -or plans - for his tariffs to fail.

We Were Invited

In my neighborhood there is an extended "no parking" zone that is also labeled "fire lane". It is there for safety. Because the street is narrow, if people were to park in the fire lane, emergency vehicles wouldn't be able to get through. In other words, the rule exists for a good reason, even though it's not necessarily obvious.

Now imagine that my neighbor has a party and some of his guests decide to park in the fire lane. They are outraged when other neighbors complain, and they go ballistic when they get parking tickets. "We did nothing wrong!" one of them insists. "Bob invited us, so we can park anywhere on the street!" They just make faces when someone points out that Bob invited them to a private party, and his invitation does not cancel parking restrictions.

They could apologize, or they could say it was a misunderstanding, or they could just shut up and go away, but instead they start screaming that everyone who lives on this street is a liar and is treating them unfairly.

Random Thoughts

One thing I've learned from social media is that there are a lot of people who think jokes need fact-checking.

trump could go to Arlington, dig up JFK's grave, gnaw on the bones, and then post the video in an ad on Tik Tok, and his cult would argue that it was okay because nothing he does is ever wrong and their grandpa never really liked the Kennedys anyway.

I don't believe in ghosts, but I have met perfectly sane people who saw *something*

Mainstream news outlets declared Joe Biden unfit to run because he spoke complete sentences in a very soft voice. They do not question donald trump's fitness, even when he quite loudly speaks nonsense.

People who insist on talking to you through the bathroom door.

The "spoils system" was a corrupt tradition whereby government jobs were given to people loyal to the party in power. It led to incompetence, waste, damage and chaos. In the US, it ended after the Civil War. trump's Project 2025 plans to bring it back by firing thousands of civil service employees and replacing them with party loyalists.

Do you like having a device in your car that can tell you, turn by turn, exactly how to get where you're going, while keeping track of traffic incidents and offering alternate routes? Without educated people who took science classes, you'd still be using paper maps.

Certain politicians blame lax border security for a flood of fentanyl entering the country. They seem to have forgotten that most fentanyl is brought in by US citizens at legal ports of entry. People choose to take drugs. Without the demand, the supply would end. But addressing the causes of addiction is more complicated than just blaming the border, so it's beyond them.

Boys and Girls Together

I see a lot of people online who seem absolutely convinced that thousands of men are so desperate to spy on girls in locker rooms and restrooms that they will disrupt their entire lives, undergo cosmetic surgery, possibly even have their reproductive organs removed, take potentially dangerous hormones, lose all hope of ever having a "normal" dating life or marriage, subject themselves to being mocked and ostracized -- all for the fleeting gratification of peeking at females.

It's certainly true that some men enjoy the opportunity to get a glimpse of women in revealing circumstances. For example, the former owner of the Miss Teen USA pageant admitted to deliberately barging into the dressing room while the contestants were undressed. But even that guy probably wouldn't have gone so far as to undergo a sex change, just for the dubious thrill of hanging out with ladies in locker rooms.

We live in a world where almost anything is possible, so it is possible that there has been, or might be, a man or two who would go to such extremes for such a minor payoff. In any case, this isn't something that is happening everywhere all the time, as the alarmists would have us believe.

But the fear that this is a widespread phenomenon has caused problems for some girls, especially girls who compete in sports. Girls who are perceived as being not pretty enough, girls who are much taller than average or who have very low body fat and well-developed muscles are often accused of being men in disguise. These girls may have a natural ability to excel at sports, but find themselves denounced and vilified, forced to live under a cloud of suspicion simply because an ignorant mob doesn't like their looks.

Happy People Are Crazy

There is a kind of dour, emotionally-stunted, unimaginative personality that can't recognize or comprehend the full spectrum of human experience and, in particular, reacts to others' happiness, enthusiasm, and enjoyment of life as if witnessing the breakdown of civilization. These perpetually unhappy characters are quick to perceive any outward expression of excitement or happiness as pathological. They often react the same way when faced with other's grief or sadness. For them, the only acceptable emotion seems to be anger, and the only appropriate modes of expression are disdain and mockery. Few of us would wish to live such miserable, limited lives.

Bad Jokes

When I want to make fun of a politician like donold trump, I usually do what most people do – I post a clip from one of his speeches or I upload a transcript of something he has actually said. I might simply mention a well-known quote. For example, referring to Hannibal Lecter or whale-killing windmills is an obvious reference to trump.

It's pretty normal to use a politician's own words and behavior to make fun of them. However, when JD Vance wanted to mock Kamala Harris, he didn't use any clips or quotes from her interview or speeches. Instead, he dug up an old clip from a Miss USA pageant, featuring a young lady who looks nothing like Kamala, has nothing to do with Kamala's campaign, and probably has never even met Kamala.

The clip was extremely embarrassing to the young woman, not to Kamala Harris. Somehow, JD thought it would be funny to publicly humiliate a stranger and that doing so would strike a blow against the Harris campaign. That’s a weird idea.

When it was pointed out to him that the incident in the clip was so distressing to the young woman that it had led her to contemplate suicide, did he say, "Oh no, I didn't know that, that's very concerning and I'll delete the post immediately"? He did not. Did he say, "I'm terribly sorry for having added to her pain, and I'll delete the post immediately"? He did not. Did he say, "It was a mistake to use that clip and I'll delete it immediately"? He did not. Did he just quietly delete the post? He did not. When given an opportunity to apologize, Vance refused to do so.

The young woman in the video has since deleted her Xtwitter account, even though she did nothing wrong. In the meantime, Vance's nasty little post is still visible.