Ancient History

Caligula Appointing His Horse Incitatus to the Consulship, unknown author, 1616–1669. Source: The Art Institute of Chicago

The Roman emperor Caligula ruled for only four years before he was assassinated. Caligula was hated by the Roman people, and historians hated him, too. The tales of his madness and misdeeds are likely exaggerated, and sometimes invented, just to show what a monster he was.

In any case, it seems true that he was mentally unbalanced. He declared himself a god. He spent a fortune on his palace and put up statues of himself. He forced the Senate to watch him dance in the middle of the night. He passed laws to keep people from looking at his bald spot. He mocked and insulted people. He was also a sadist. Among other things, he sometimes locked up the food supplies so the population would starve. He really made politicians mad when he announced his plan to appoint his horse to the Senate, making it clear that he thought an unqualified beast could do just as good a job as anyone else.

His unpopularity reached its peak, and officers of his own Praetorian Guards conspired to kill him. Led by a man Caligula had mocked for having a squeaky voice, they stabbed him to death and then declared his uncle Claudius the new emperor. That's how they did impeachment in 41 A.D.

To this day, Caligula is remembered as a cruel, narcissistic, depraved tyrant. Unqualified political appointees are sometimes compared to Caligula's horse.

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Let's Make a Deal

Photo by Bahador on Unsplash

I asked Grok, Elon Musk's AI chatbot, "What are the characteristics of a person who is good at making deals?"

This was the answer.

A person who excels at making deals typically possesses a combination of interpersonal, strategic, and intellectual traits. Here are some key characteristics:

Strong Communication Skills: They articulate ideas clearly, listen actively, and adapt their language to suit their audience. Whether negotiating terms or persuading someone, they know how to convey value effectively.

Emotional Intelligence: They read people well—picking up on cues like tone, body language, or hesitation—and adjust their approach accordingly. Empathy helps them understand the other party’s needs and motivations.

Confidence: They project assurance without arrogance, inspiring trust and credibility. This allows them to hold firm on key points while remaining approachable.

Preparation and Research: They come armed with facts—knowing their own bottom line, the other party’s likely priorities, and the broader context (market trends, competitors, etc.). Knowledge is their leverage.

Adaptability: They think on their feet, pivoting when negotiations shift unexpectedly. Rigid dealmakers lose; flexible ones find win-win solutions.

Patience and Persistence: They don’t rush or buckle under pressure. They’re willing to wait for the right moment or push through resistance to get the best outcome.

Strategic Thinking: They see the big picture—anticipating objections, planning concessions, and knowing when to walk away. Every move serves a purpose.

Persuasiveness: They frame their offers in ways that appeal to the other side’s interests, making it hard to say no. Storytelling or highlighting mutual benefits often plays a role.

Integrity: While they play hard, they don’t burn bridges. A reputation for fairness keeps doors open for future deals.

Resilience: Rejection or setbacks don’t faze them. They learn from losses and come back sharper.

Think of someone like a seasoned entrepreneur or a diplomat—say, a Chris Voss type (the ex-FBI negotiator) or even a fictional Tony Stark. They blend charm, wits, and grit to close the deal. Does that paint the picture you’re looking for?

 

Can You Translate That, Please?

A country's official language is the language used by the government for conducting business and for its official communications and documents. Not every country has an official language, but many do.

Some countries have more than one official language, in recognition of languages spoken by indigenous people or different ethnic groups within the country, or because a particular language is seen as useful for communicating with large numbers of people and with representatives of other nations.

There is no requirement that individuals use the official language for personal conversations. For example, French is the official language of France, but when my husband and I traveled there, we spoke English to each other in public (and sometimes to local people, if they spoke English). Nobody yelled "Parlez Français!" at us, and we didn't get arrested or deported. Our experience was similar in Germany, where the official language is German, and in Italy where it is Italian (although I do speak a little Italian, which seemed to please people).

Some countries have ten or more official languages, and may also try to accommodate many additional languages and dialects used by different groups, as well as whatever it is the tourists are speaking.

• List of official languages by country

 

We're Here to Help Ourselves

If you've ever worked in a large (or medium, or small) organization, you probably know that there are always changes that could be made to make operations a bit more efficient, or to reduce unnecessary expenses. In most workplaces, these are not things that would be readily apparent to a stranger who just walked in the door one day.

The potential improvements that would benefit most organizations are usually things that are noticed by people familiar with the current workflow, people who know what is being done and what the outcomes are. In any case, suddenly eliminating half (or three-fourths or a third or a quarter) of the employees would not improve productivity. And, even if removing some employees would increase efficiency, only someone who knows what tasks are being done, and by whom, could correctly decide who to let go.

The same concept applies to reducing the budget. An outsider might arbitrarily declare, as some sort of eccentric guiding principle, that everyone should just stop ordering office supplies, or that nobody should ever spend more than $5.00 on pencils. In many offices, people may be wasting paper or overwatering the plants. Nevertheless, only someone who actually works there can see what is necessary and useful, and what is wasteful.

If I wanted to improve efficiency and economy in an organization, I would take some time to work with the people and help them to identify areas for improvement. If I wanted to completely destroy an organization so that it could not fulfill its purpose, I would send in an angry clown to just fire half the staff for no reason, and I'd take away the operating budget and order a halt to all normal procedures.